Want to live like a Nashvillian during this craziest of weeks when CMA Fest descends upon the city for a week of music and mayhem? Just follow these steps.
Step 1: Hop online for some research. Google things like "beaches within a day's drive of Nashville" or "cheap plan tickets to anywhere but Nashville."
Step 2: If you live near downtown Nashville, then make sure your home and its contents are properly insured before you AirBnB it to strangers in cowboys hats or backcountry bros who think "shower optional" means "shower never."
Step 3: Pack your suitcase wisely. You're going to another city for a whole week!
Step 4: Before you get in your car to drive to 30A or to get to the airport, take one last look around at this city you love. No telling what will happen once the Jason Aldean after party shuts down Friday night.
Step 5: Enjoy your time away! Check in to Facebook regularly to laugh at your friends who didn't have the good sense to pack up and leave. While you're sipping a Mai Tai in Seaside or walking Magnificent Mile in Chicago, they'll be updating their profile with observations like "What happened to all the denim sacrificed to make all these cut off shorts?" and "Nothing like taking 45 minutes to get from the Gulch to Germantown. #thanksCMA."
Step 6: Do yoga. Read a book outdoors. Revel in what it's like to not be asked "Where does Kenny Chesney live?" or "Y'all really got a girl mayor?" while continuously circling a roundabout.
Step 7: Come home Monday morning and pretend it never happened. Go ahead and make your plans to visit Europe between June 8-11, 2017.